


Primadonna

by feelgood_mac



Series: Berujean Minifics [2]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe, Boys Kissing, Brief Mention of Alcoholism, Brief Violence, Crying, Fluff and Angst, Jealousy, Jean gets a bit angry, Love Confessions, M/M, Mostly Fluff, gay shit, they both cry a bit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-25
Updated: 2016-01-25
Packaged: 2018-05-16 04:01:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5813263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/feelgood_mac/pseuds/feelgood_mac
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bertholdt's been hiding his feelings from his flatmate and best friend Jean for a few years now and, when he gets asked out on a date, he thinks it's the perfect chance to get over Jean. Except, when he tells him, Jean throws a tantrum, words are shouted, a glass is thrown. Fun times, right?</p>
<p>From this post (<a href="http://probably-weaboo-stuff.tumblr.com/post/137979098954/okay-but-imagine">x</a>) on tumblr</p>
            </blockquote>





	Primadonna

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this while I was scared shitless (result of a classic horror film) and it was very therapeutic. Give me kudos and comments here and prompts and suggestions (or comments even) @kirschbooty on tumblr.

“You what?”

The words were out of Jean’s mouth before he could think things through. Bertholdt’s eyes narrowed and he stepped closer, lips pulling back into a near snarl. “I have a date tonight, what’s the big deal?”

“T-The big deal is you didn’t even tell me! We’re _best_ friends and isn’t that what best friends do?” Jean knew his argument was weak and pretty ridiculous but that didn’t stop him. “I thought Friday nights were our movie nights and you can’t just go _changing_ that!”

“Oh, I’m sorry that my personal life has gotten in the way this _once_. I swear it won’t happen again, your _highness_.” The sarcasm in Bertholdt’s voice was heavy and it shocked Jean; he’d never heard his friend use this tone in such a hostile way. He must really like the guy, Jean thought and for some reason, which he knew but was never going to admit to himself, it made him furious.

“I can’t believe you’re trying to turn this on me! Couldn’t you have told whoever the fuck it is that you weren’t free tonight?” Jean’s grip on his glass of water tightened until his knuckles were white. Nothing had ever gotten between them like this, not even the time Jean had held a party full of too drunk twenty-somethings the night before Bertholdt’s most important final exam. This should have just been a casual exchange but Jean had taken it too far and he knew he wasn’t going to back down now.

“This is the only night Reiner was free.” Bertholdt’s voice had taken on an arrogant tone but his eyes, beautiful and green and all too sad, told a different story. They looked tired, like he had given up hope on not only Jean but himself. But Jean couldn’t bring himself to care about that when, at the moment, he was still trying to process the fact that Reiner, Reiner fucking Braun, had asked Bertholdt out on a date. Reiner was the king of first dates and one night stands; he never seemed to be able to keep a relationship and Jean knew exactly why. Beer was his first love and always would be, anyone else came after that.

“You’d willingly go on a date with that, that _drunk_? He’d probably take you to a bar and end up too wasted to even get in a fucking cab!” Jean opened his mouth to continue but Bertholdt had grabbed his collar and slammed him against the fridge.

“How _dare_ you? Of course I’d go on a date with him; he’s sweet a-and you know nothing about him besides a single weakness.” A few tears streamed down Bertholdt’s face and he let go of Jean to wipe them away. “What’s your issue anyways? You’re always going on dates so why can’t I? It’s not like we’re _dating_ o-or fucking, why are you getting so upset over this?”

Jean’s only answer was his glass being thrown into the sink, shattering it into uneven pieces. Bertholdt flinched and stepped back, hands coming up to protect his face from any stray glass. Jean’s face was red and his hand was bleeding from a piece of glass that had flown back at him. He clenched his fist and the pain that followed was enough to get his eyes to fill with tears. A small hiccup escaped his lips followed by another and another; soon he couldn’t stop hiccupping, his tears not helping any.

Bertholdt watched, dazed by the fact that Jean, strong and confident Jean Kirschtein, was crying. Soon after, he started laughing; quiet at first because he didn’t want Jean to hear and then he realized something. He wasn’t going to go on that date with Reiner, he had already typed and sent his cancellation before the argument with Jean had even started. When he had run into Reiner at the coffee shop, his mind was already fixated on Jean, it always was, and he knew that it wouldn’t be any different on a date. He loves him too much to even try dating anyone else.

By the time Jean’s pain had stopped, Bertholdt was laughing so loud that it drowned out the sound of their neighbors banging on the walls, telling them to be quiet. Jean was so angry; first, Bertholdt pulls the Reiner-shit and now he’s laughing at him? How dare that beautiful, tall bastard? Either the pain in his hand or the pain to his pride made Jean lose all reason and the next thing he knew, he was gripping Bertholdt by the back of his neck and kissing him.

At first, Bertholdt struggled because being kissed by an angry Jean was a painful process, all teeth and no lips. After a few seconds passed and he fully realized what was happening, he cupped Jean’s face and kissed him back in earnest, tongue slipping out to soothe the slight burn on his lips, nearly fainting when he heard Jean make a small satisfied noise in the back of his throat before pulling away.

“ _Fuck_ , Bertl, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I’m such a shit friend a-and that I’m even shittier at communicating but,” he murmured, sniffling a little as he wiped his eyes. “Those ‘dates’ I’ve been going on? They were fake. I’ve been hanging out at Marco and Eren’s, pouring out my goddamn feelings while chugging cheap boxed wine and shoveling greasy pizza into my face.”

“Y-You…what?” It was Bertholdt’s turn to cry and his eyes were turning red and he just wanted to run and hide in his room so Jean wouldn’t have to see him like this.

“I used to date a lot of people, yeah, but then…then I realized that I’m _maybesortapossiblytotallyinlovewithyou_ and I just couldn’t force myself. So instead,” he paused, his eyes still focused on a small error in Bertholdt’s collar seam. “Instead, I ate my feelings and kept lying to you so you wouldn’t hate me, please don’t hate me. I-I couldn’t bear it if you hated me.”

A silence fell between them for a few moments as Bertholdt tried to process everything Jean had confessed. One, Jean had been lying to him. Two, he’d probably been hurting the same way Bertl had hurting. Three, well, Bertl didn’t need to figure out number three because Jean was right there in front of him, telling him that he wanted him, hell he even said that he loves him. That’s all that Bertl needed to hear.

“Jean, I-I love you too.”

Jean’s head whipped up, nearly knocking into Bertholdt’s chin, his eyes wide with hope and a little bit of fear. He searched the taller man’s eyes for a second before bringing a shaky hand up to wipe his eyes, his shoulders shaking with silent laughter.

“What’s wrong? D-Did I…” _hear you wrong?_ Bertholdt couldn’t finish, he was too scared about Jean was going to do next; was he going to kiss him again or would he push him away? Jean pulled him down into another kiss before he could think of a thousand other scenarios of how that moment could have gone wrong.

This kiss wasn’t like the first; no, it was soft and Jean’s lips were pliant against his. A wave of relief washed over Bertholdt and he used the confidence from that relief to wrap his arms around Jean and tilt his head, opening his mouth to deepen the kiss. This was how he always imagined kissing Jean would be; of course, the first kiss was what he expected but he had always hoped for something calm, something gentle.

Jean moved closer, tugging gently on the short hairs on the back of Bertholdt’s neck. He knew he was shit with words but actions were where he was always strongest; if he couldn’t properly tell Bertholdt just how much he loved him, just how many nights he had spent crying with Eren and Marco while drinking wine that would have made his grandfather cringe, then he’d show him. And so he kept kissing Bertholdt, well after the kiss was over. He moved his lips to Bertholdt’s jaw, his cheek, his nose, anywhere Jean could reach. The only thought in his mind was _Bertholdt_ and _how can I show him how much I love him_ and _what can I do to make up for that horrible fight?_ But then, he remembered the fight and what had started it and he dropped his hands, stepping away from Bertholdt hesitantly.

“Reiner. Y-You shouldn’t stand him up; call him o-or go to him, he’ll be worried.” Jean’s hands hung uselessly at his side, the cut still bleeding a bit and dripping onto the floor. Bertholdt shook his head and turned to grab bandages from the drawer by the stove; they had filled it with first aid supplies after the first time Jean had tried to cook something other than the French cuisine he was used to. Bertholdt took his time bandaging Jean’s hand; he applied the antibiotic ointment and huffed out a laugh when Jean tried to pull his hand back. When he was finished, he kissed Jean’s palm, holding it to his face for a few seconds.

“Bert, really, you’ve gotta let him know!”

“Jean, shut up. I canceled on him before we even had the fight.” Jean stood there gaping like a fish while Bertholdt pulled out his phone to show Jean the message from Reiner, telling him that he understood and that he looked forward to seeing him sometime soon. “I’m going to call him and tell him that I won’t be free next week or the week after that or ever, if that’s what you want.”

“Of course I want that! U-Unless that’s not what you want, because I don’t want to force you into anything.” The blush on Jean’s face and his slight hesitation made Bertholdt’s pride swell a bit; _he_ had made Jean blush, _he_ had that effect on him. 

“What I want is to be able to tell people that you’re my boyfriend. What I want is to be able to kiss you when you’re happy, hold you while you’re sad, and love you every second in between.” And with that, Bertholdt kissed Jean again and again, pecking his lips softly to show him that he was willing to go as slow as Jean needed him to. Jean’s eager response, however, told him that wasn’t necessary.

“You gotta tell me when something’s wrong, Jean. This won’t work out if we don’t communicate.” Jean opened his mouth, either to kiss Bertholdt again or to interrupt, but the taller man wasn’t having it. “I know that you’re ‘shit at communicating’; I am too. But we’ll do this together and figure out our own way of communicating, yeah?”

“Yeah, I think that’ll work just fine, baby.” A small smirk was growing on Jean’s face, his lips curling into a wide smile as Bertholdt blushed a little at the new nickname.

“’Baby’? Getting a little confident, are we? Well, sweetheart,” Bertholdt drew out the word a bit, loving the content hum Jean let out. “I like it, I like it a lot.”

A small whine left Jean’s lips, prompting Bertholdt to pick him up, cradling him gently in his arms as he carried him out to their shared couch. Living in an apartment with Jean in the beginnings of the their new relationship would be hard but Bertholdt was sure they’d get used to it in time and, when they moved to just one bedroom, Jean could finally have the small art studio he’d be hoping for.

Bertholdt sat down on the couch next to a very content Jean, almost laughing that blissed out expression on his face when he pulled away from their third (or was it fourth, Bertholdt could never quite remember) kiss.

“What are we going to do now, baby?” Jean purred, wincing a little as he moved to sit up so he could kiss Bertholdt again.

“Now? Now, we’re going to have our movie night but this time, we get to cuddle.”


End file.
